Thanks for the fish

till sunset (according to weather.com). Do you think that’s enough time to digest my butternut squash lasagna, pound a martini (too heavy on the triple sec. boo hoo) and get out there and jog. Oh damn. I didn’t take into account the fact that I’d be out there jogging for 30 minutes. Oh well. I’ll jog in dark. No big thing. I mean there might be a big thing. Like a buck. Or a doe. A coyote. A bear? Moose? Oh well… it’s the price I pay for fitness. Blondie was out there tonight. It’s funny about living up here in this small town that it’s almost embarrassing to look at blondie. It feels almost sinful to check out the cute blonde running down main st. It seems indecent. When I first moved up here I was all out into the appearances.. makeup, high heels, fashionable clothes that could be found at marshalls and TJ Maxx.. with an occasional Nordstrom splurge. I still wear makeup (i’m in the minority) and I still wear high heels to work, but yeah… I’ve definitely gotten more into the casual thing. I shop at eddie bauer. and beans. It’s funny… is that what they talk about when they talk about the “spirit of a place” ? Funny how the surrounding society can affect you down to the way you dress. Can you imagine living in LA? Or south beach? That would suck!

Anyhoo… had an interesting dream last night. I dreamt about a very sexy man that I used to work with. I was with my current work colleagues and I ran into him somewhere outside, like a picnic or something. His hair, instead of being gray and normal looking, was sort of blondish red and poofy.. almost like an Elvis kind of swoopy thing. He asked if I liked it and my first reaction was to be honest and say no, but then it occurred to me that I should be nicer, so I said something that I meant sincerely, but it came off sounding a little rude, like “as long as you’re happy with it, that’s all that matters.” And he had gained some weight and had a big pot belly and he just wasn’t attractive at all. But I still liked him because I knew that he was a really interesting person and smart, but I sort of felt bad for him and was kind of embarrassed.

I will try to interpret… Well, I had a lunch planned today with an excoworker from that job. This was one of those jobs that was really cool, but really sucked at the same time. So it’s been sort of hard to let go of. Maybe this was my subconscious’ way of saying… it wasn’t that great… it was kind of cool… but it’s time to move on.  That’s my take on it anyway.  Let it go… Today was a really fun day at work though. I laughed and joked around all day long. I was friendly to people and they were friendly back. Even pervert was nice to me, and I was feelin’ the love for him too. He ain’t so bad!

Yikes.. looks like rain. I swear every time I try to go jogging it starts raining. Like magic. Oh! Little nifty pagan tidbit. Friday we have a marketing meeting and we’re having a bobbing for apples competition (don’t ask), so of course I volunteered because I have a latent competitive gene (though I never win at anything). So I looked it up and that game comes from a pagan ritual having to do with samhain (pronounced sow-en). Something about an apple goddess. : )

2 days till vacation!!! I’m so in vacation mode. Happy girl is here! Grumpy girl is gone! And I”ve lost 4 pounds and maintained it for 4 weeks. Yay! I’m sure all those hills in San Francisco will negate any affects of super duper awesome food. yummy yummy. Alright… yes, I’m stalling. going for a jog now. 22 minutes of daylight left. I cranked my light therapy up to 60% this morning to combat grumpy moods. Seems to have helped.  

the grumpy post. I’m so in a grumpy place lately. : ( Today I’m still in the healing process from my ryan adams no encore debacle. But I think I can get past it. I actually yelled obscenities at strangers last night, which isn’t really like me. Though, in a way, it was sort of liberating to call it like you see it sometimes. Have you ever noticed how when you’re in a negative mood, things just seem to get worse and worse? Today I got in a bit of a fight with a coworker, dropped my lunch on the floor (unsalvagable)… I guess that was it. Part of it was that I was tired. Part was that I was still mad from last night.

Tonight we had a networking event for J’s alumni assn. and I thought it would be pure hell, but it actually wasn’t that bad. So that kind of snapped the negative streak (I hope). I’m utterly exhausted right now and am about ready to go to bed.

My house cleaner came today and it was so  nice to come home to a clean house. She did a good job this time. Every week I leave it messier and messier. I’m getting super duper excited about vacation! I’m going to see the biggest living organism on earth! I emailed my sister this morning and said that and do you know how she responded “Let me know if it’s worth seeing.” ???? !!!!!! Yeah, I don’t know sis… could be a dud! <eyes rolling> ARRRGGHHH… (I seem to have some anger management problems lately, but that does not mean that people are completely ex-as-per-ate-ing! Well, I have to hit the hay. I’m totally pooped.

Oh… one quick gross story about Japanese toilets. I spent some time in Japan during my youth and the toilets were basically holes in the floor. They had a porcelain splash guard, but you squatted and did your business instead of sitting on a chair like thing like you do here. They always stunk to high hell and I always assumed it was because people missed all the time and got it all over the floor (mostly just pee). Today, I finally pinpointed that very special odor. I had fish for dinner last night (which I rarely do). aha! Need I say more? Just thought I would share that amazing epiphany.