Thanks for the fish

till sunset (according to weather.com). Do you think that’s enough time to digest my butternut squash lasagna, pound a martini (too heavy on the triple sec. boo hoo) and get out there and jog. Oh damn. I didn’t take into account the fact that I’d be out there jogging for 30 minutes. Oh well. I’ll jog in dark. No big thing. I mean there might be a big thing. Like a buck. Or a doe. A coyote. A bear? Moose? Oh well… it’s the price I pay for fitness. Blondie was out there tonight. It’s funny about living up here in this small town that it’s almost embarrassing to look at blondie. It feels almost sinful to check out the cute blonde running down main st. It seems indecent. When I first moved up here I was all out into the appearances.. makeup, high heels, fashionable clothes that could be found at marshalls and TJ Maxx.. with an occasional Nordstrom splurge. I still wear makeup (i’m in the minority) and I still wear high heels to work, but yeah… I’ve definitely gotten more into the casual thing. I shop at eddie bauer. and beans. It’s funny… is that what they talk about when they talk about the “spirit of a place” ? Funny how the surrounding society can affect you down to the way you dress. Can you imagine living in LA? Or south beach? That would suck!

Anyhoo… had an interesting dream last night. I dreamt about a very sexy man that I used to work with. I was with my current work colleagues and I ran into him somewhere outside, like a picnic or something. His hair, instead of being gray and normal looking, was sort of blondish red and poofy.. almost like an Elvis kind of swoopy thing. He asked if I liked it and my first reaction was to be honest and say no, but then it occurred to me that I should be nicer, so I said something that I meant sincerely, but it came off sounding a little rude, like “as long as you’re happy with it, that’s all that matters.” And he had gained some weight and had a big pot belly and he just wasn’t attractive at all. But I still liked him because I knew that he was a really interesting person and smart, but I sort of felt bad for him and was kind of embarrassed.

I will try to interpret… Well, I had a lunch planned today with an excoworker from that job. This was one of those jobs that was really cool, but really sucked at the same time. So it’s been sort of hard to let go of. Maybe this was my subconscious’ way of saying… it wasn’t that great… it was kind of cool… but it’s time to move on.  That’s my take on it anyway.  Let it go… Today was a really fun day at work though. I laughed and joked around all day long. I was friendly to people and they were friendly back. Even pervert was nice to me, and I was feelin’ the love for him too. He ain’t so bad!

Yikes.. looks like rain. I swear every time I try to go jogging it starts raining. Like magic. Oh! Little nifty pagan tidbit. Friday we have a marketing meeting and we’re having a bobbing for apples competition (don’t ask), so of course I volunteered because I have a latent competitive gene (though I never win at anything). So I looked it up and that game comes from a pagan ritual having to do with samhain (pronounced sow-en). Something about an apple goddess. : )

2 days till vacation!!! I’m so in vacation mode. Happy girl is here! Grumpy girl is gone! And I”ve lost 4 pounds and maintained it for 4 weeks. Yay! I’m sure all those hills in San Francisco will negate any affects of super duper awesome food. yummy yummy. Alright… yes, I’m stalling. going for a jog now. 22 minutes of daylight left. I cranked my light therapy up to 60% this morning to combat grumpy moods. Seems to have helped.