Monday
Well, I had kind of a shitty day at work. My friend D is still on vacation so I don’t have too many people to talk to. I have 2 days before I go to California for a conference so I’m trying to catch up on things. Then I got a bunch of shit today, which is basically grunt work, that I had to do at the last minute because certain people didn’t plan ahead, and it all pisses me off. Besides, it’s that time of the month and I feel crappy anyway. And it’s cold and rainy and that doesn’t help. So I chain smoked all day and ate nothing but peanut butter, south beach bars, and diet coke. Felt crappy all day so picked up a bottle of lovely Ravenswood Zinfandel on the way home. My parents are here, and with a bottle of wine, they seem perfectly lovely, enjoying my homemade crabcakes and frozen Freshetta pizza and watching jeopardy and antiques roadshow on tv. : ) Such lovely civilized people.
J is cleaning, trying to make me feel guilty for being a horrible wife. My parents tell me to just sit back and enjoy it, so I guess I will. : ) My writing group is comign together. WE are trying to figure out where to meet. I offered my house, though it is out of the way. Nobody ever comes to my house, though I am not ashamed of it. Secrectly I long for people to look at my bookshelves and see what good taste I have and to comment on my taste in decorating as well. It’s sort of sad how we all say we don’t care what people think but we still would like for someone to agree with us (which doesn’t happen down here much, where the only audience is my in-laws and they obviously don’t agree with my asthetic.) I’m happy that one of the two guys in my writing group have agreed to participate. Not only do I like their participation, but I also long for someone to secretly flirt with. J said tonight that I like to flirt with guys and don’t like girls because I can’t work them. Whatever.
My next book, that I think I will start on my flight to CA is Wicked, by Gregory Maguire. My gay buddy says it is awesome. I have a bit of a thing about people who build books around existing books, art, etc. Like “Girl with a pearl earring” I can’t help but think they are riding on someone else’s coattails and sort of cheating. It seems more like a writing exerise than anything legit. Do you agree? Not to say the writing is not good.
There’s a cute guy at work who keep saying hi to me. He seems very arrogant, like he always gets what he wants. He’s friends wilth the guy who I really think is cute. I’m slowly coming to terms with the fact that I will never have sex with any of them (since I’m married. doh!) But they are cute. And I like men. And I suppose if I was single, I probably wouldnt’ be interested in them at all. So I’m coming to terms with teh psychology of attraction just a bit. But I have to say… men who look you in the eye and are not shy are in their own way, very very appealing (though I usually like the shy, nerdy type).
Wine is gone. I’ve been writing poetry in my dreams lately. And sleeping horribly. I’m run down and tired and not in the mood for travelling, but so it goes. Which makes me think of someone else. : (
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i think it is better if you can write more.