Thanks for the fish

in our kayaks. Let me tell you, kayaking is not for the faint of heart. I’m bushed! First, those things are heavy and you have to load them onto the car, take them down, get all your gear ready, then go out. It was really fun, but it got really windy and wavy and I was a little scared. Then I got really tired and grumpy. J is out cleaning everything off now, bless his heart.

Well, Thursday night I had a company dinner..whole company…about 400 people, so I thought it would be a fantastic idea to get shitfaced in front of everyone and act really obnoxious. : ( So I’ve been dwelling on that since and blushing about 5 times a day in shame. sigh… well, I obviously regret it and wish it hadn’t happened, but what can I do now? Nothing. Hold my head high, lay low, and hopefully people will forget. If not, I guess I could find a new job, but I can’t keep finding new jobs because I get drunk and embarrass myself. Will this be the time I learn my lesson? Perhaps. Damn damn dman dman damn. My self esteem is suffering and I’ve realized that I’m ungrateful and a total brat.

So, having figured these things out, what shall I do? I don’t know. But I bought a book at Borders yesterday called “Write a book in a month” or something like that. Yes, I said I would stop buying these dumb writing books, but this one looked pretty good and I need some motivation. Hey, if I have to quit my job (or get fired for that matter), that could be a great opportunity to write my book. So I will work on that tonight, but first a shower, than I need to work on my recital songs since the recital is 2 weeks away and I don’t even have the damn songs memorized yet. I think I have my writing group tomorrow too…