Thanks for the fish

vay… So I’m trying to practice “the secret” which is basically just positive thinking, but I’m not doing very good. I did ok all day… mostly just tried not to think negative thoughts, and tried even harder not to actually say anything negative. That meant I didn’t talk a lot. And still a few negative things popped out.

Then, after work, instead of going to the gym like I wanted to, we embarked on the Saga of the Pellet Stove. Like everyone else in this god forsaken state, we are in full tilt panic mode re: how we are going to survive the winter without freezing our effing asses off. Here’s the simple equation: $5 a gallon oil + 1000plus gallons needed for the winter = $5000, which in turn = L & J being stone cold broke and living on the streets. We have an oil furnace/water heater and a propane fireplace in teh living room. Folks - here are 2 tips if you’re building a house in new england and just happen to be as stupid as me. 1) Build a 2 flue chimney. 2) Don’t heat your damn house with oil.

So, we talked to a very tired and exhausted pellet stove salesman, who is selling more pellet stoves than he can stock. He gave us some useful information - namely that it is most likely a viable option for us….if we can actually find pellets to buy, and if he can keep enough of them in stock (there is currently a 12 week waiting list. Ok, let me remind you - it’s effing JULY. I feel like I’m a pioneer woman living on the frontier. This is america! Should I really have to deal with this crap. What is my government doing about this. Oh yes, I finally got my stimulus check in the mail. Thanks Dubwa. I will stimulate the economy to buying pellets IF I can get them so I don’t get fucked up the ass by oil companies this year. And I am one fo the lucky ones because hopefully I will actually be able to afford it. It’s just damn depressing. Nobody cares. Whaa!

Ok, so obviously my positivity experiment was dangerous and unsuccessful. Bottle it up all day and this is what happens. But this was my controlled venting session and now I will resume positivity. Thanks for listening.

I am offically addicted to both O’Doul’s and sobriety. Yes, those are pigs you see flying by. Hi piggie!

Yes… we just got back from seeing Kung Fu Panda (J’s idea) and I am inspired. Follow your destiny, panda!

I was on a big kick last year about synchronicity, and coincidence, and destiny, etc. etc. etc. I guess I’m getting back on that kick. Have you heard of this The Secret thing? It seems a little strange, but the premise is that through the Law of Attraction, you bring into your life whatever you are thinking of. So, think positive things, get positive things. I didn’t read it, I just watched the synopsis on YouTube. Well, it may be a bunch of hooey, but certainly positive thinking can’t be too harmful. So combined with the Kung Fu Panda message, I have decided that it’s time I put some long held wishes into action. Time to get focused on my yet-to-be-written book once again. And yet, the plot still eludes me. So I’ve decided that even if I don’t write every day, I will at least dedicate some space in my rambling for some book brainstomring. It may not make any sense to you, but bear with me.

So, first, I need to think of a reason for writing this book… a message that I want to send out. First, let’s explore the themes in Kung Fu Panda, as well as the story arc. : ) The movie starts with a panda having a dream about being a kung fu fighter. He wakes up and is disappointed to find out that he is still at home, working in his father’s restaurant. His father wants him to take his place, but the panda wants to be a kung fu figher. Conflict!

Then, it’s announced that they are searching for the dragon warrior, the one who will protect the village from the villain (forgot his name). There are 5 warriors who are shoe-ins and they are the pandas heroes. He goes to watch and by a freak accident gets chosen himself as the dragon warrior. End of Act 1.

He is fat and out of shape and no one has faith in him, but he doesn’t quit because even if it’s unlikely, he’s happier to be bad at kung fu rather than good at making noodles. The 5 warriors and their master try to get rid of him and eventually nearly succeed. The master finally realizes it is the panda’s destiny and decides to help him, using his unique strengths to train him (food as a reward). The villain escapes and the panda runs away, convinced he has no special power to stop him. Then, with the help of his father, he realizes that there is no special ingredient to the noodles or to life. But by believing something is special, it makes it special. He goes back to defeat the viallin - end of act 2.

He defeats the villiain, who is still searching for something outside of himself, while the panda is confident in himself. That’s the power that wins.

So the themes are: be yourself, follow your destiny, you can be anything you want, but you can’t control things outside of yourself. And live in the present.

Good themes. I like them! I am particularly drawn to the idea of following your desinty and how life gives you what you need if you ask for it. How to turn that into a plot, I don’t know yet. But I’ll keep thinking about it.

Having an O’Doul’s tonight. I’ve rather gotten to like them. Also had a salad for dinner. I’m on a roll!