It’s amazing how fast
The red asiatic lillies are blooming like crazy and looking very seductive and delicious. The white hollyhocks are blooming. The stella d’oros look awesome and contrast stunningly with the lavendar that’s now full in bloom (guess I should take a picture, huh?). The liatris is thinking about blooming. The coreopsis moonbeam blooming (my favorite) and the thistle in teh weed garden looks like it could quite possibly take over teh world. On the downside, I have some webby crap on my transplanted hydrangea and those goddamn japanese beetles are eating my roses. That’s the garden update.
I’m going to virginia to visit my sister and see Martin Sexton at the Birchmere. He was just here for the 4th of July and it was free, but I didn’t end up going (too busy). So now I’ll spend hundreds of dollars to get see him. : ) I like his music a lot, but he’s not one of the top 5 I listen to all the time (patty griffin, lucinda williams, ryan adams, neko case, dido, willie nelson…is that more than 5?). He has the potential to break through though. The Birchmere is a really cool club in alexandria, va (where I used to live)…it’s sort of blues oriented and it’s the kind where you sit down (thank god) and order food and drinks all throughout the show. super cool vibes too. I saw Patty there and obviously it was amazing. AND I checked and the Redskins have a home game that Sunday so I’m trying to gather the girls together for a football game. Unfortunatley all teh girls now have kids and houses in teh boondocks, so I’m not sure if they’ll be up for it. My sister (non football fan) has volunteered to go with me.
Still feeling funky. I think the more I focus on wanting something, the more miserable I am. Even when I don’t even need to want something. Sometimes you just want to want, you know. It’s the american way. BUT, check this out. I was at Macy’s buying a cute new red dress (wearing it tomorrow!) and the line was taking forever. So I used the Secret trick and visualized the lady in front of leaving without buying her stuff. Lo and behold, her coupon wasn’t valid so she decided not to buy her khaki skirt and walked off. Yes! So then I tried to replicate it all day. Visualizing all kinds of good stuff! None of it happened. grrr!
My friend A’s mother has breast cancer. I would attribute that to my fears of breast cancer, but I suppose that would be pushing it too far. She’s having a double masectomy. Doesn’t it suck we have to worry about this stuff? Every time I feel a pain in my boob I’m convinced I’m dying. Seems like it would be easier to just lop them off and be done with it. You know? But I guess that wouldnt’ be much fun.
So tomorrow I’m leaving work at 3 to get in a truck with 6 of my coworkers and head north to go camping (tee hee… this is getting funny, right?) and then whitewater rafting. I guess there is a 12 foot drop. or 8 foot drop? I forget. And it just occurred to me that I am the oldest person going. hmm. Does that mean I have to act mature? I don’t feel like the oldest. They are all girls except one gay guy. I don’t know how it will go. I’m not much of a trooper when it comes to being away from home, and get grumpy. But today at work A (gay guy) was really getting on my damn nerves and I just smiled and gently pushed back and felt much better for it. Oh, this week I also got a crappy raise and no bonus. : )
Is this negative? I should just stop blogging. I’m probably depressing the google bot. On glass 2 of an ok riesling. I won’t even vent about the inequity of birthday celebrations at my workplace. Making a breakfast casserole for giant birthday celebration for A tomorrow (I got crap for my birthday). : ) GRATITUDE! Let me focus on that.
You know (because I’ve drinken too much. dranken too much? drunk too much - yes I’m a writer) I’ve been thinking and it’s not like I’m opposed to having children. In fact, in some ways I really do want children. It’s just that me & J together I don’t see doing it. It sort of sucks and I dont’ know what to make of it, but I guess I’ve been in denial about that and I might as well throw that out to the world (why the hell not, right?).
Anyhoo…
