Thanks for the fish

so last night I was doing online resesarch trying to figure out (still) what the eff is wrong with me (since the doctors can’t figure it out). Let me just say that I am famous for getting these chronic undiagnosable conditions…you know like “irritable bowel syndrome” or “chronic fatigure syndrome.” Ok, I don’t actually have chronic fatigue syndrome, but you know…these “conditions” that the doctors don’t know what they are, or what causes them, but tons of people have them so they have to invent something. I suspect I have something like this now…or else I have ovarian cancer. I know…internet reserach is a bad, bad thing.

So last night I was reading about how a sign of ovarian cancer is a big tummy, or unexplained weight gain. As I was reading this, I thought “nah.” Then this morning I tried on a pair of pants I bought not all that long ago. hmm.. a little tonight. Today I just look plain FAT. I am huge and I don’t know why. Ok, perhaps the entire bottles of wine consumed during a night might be part of it. But i really don’t feel like I’ve been eating more than usual. But, I have been in an extreme amount of stress and when that happens I treat my body like crap.

Negativity coming: Fair warning! Work sucks. My boss quit. I’m lost and confused.  My coworker is a nitwit who I am about ready to say I hate (though I don’t really). I have too much to do, and because of nitwit coworker, I don’t have the resources to be able to do my job. Meanwhile, he keeps trying to do my job for me (and perhaps sabotaging me too?). Thus, I have a blow up directed at him (golden boy) every other day, which makes me look like a bitch, and people to side with him even more. Then, my other coworker whines to the director of marketing (on my behalf) and I really hate it when she brings me into it, even though I admit I’m too much of a wimp to stick up for myself so she feels the need to do it for me. (deep breath). I nearly cried at work today.

It’s a disaster. But honestly, I can’t say I hate my job, because I don’t. I have faith it will work out, but it’s really stressing me out right now. But on a high note, my piano teacher is taaching me how to shoot guns on Saturday! Whoo-ee! I’m excited. My watercolors class was fun, but as always I was the odd girl out. And I take myself way too seriously and put too much pressure on myself. I resolve to just have fun with this stuff..after all, that’s why I do it. And now I will enjoy my Lemon Drop Martini and watch Ratatouille!