Thanks for the fish

Just got the call that Eddie the Grouse is dead. : ( Apparently he flew into my in-laws window and broke his neck. At least that’s the news from the mother-in-law. We hadn’t seen him around much lately. This year he was hanging out with my father in law who fed him birdseed and befriended him. Oh well, it’s sad. I feel bad that he never seemed to find a mate or anything. He just hang around here for a few years. I know I hated the bird at one time, but we had made our peace. A few times this year he’d meet me in the mornings and chase my car up the driveway. I wonder how long they’re natural lifespan is. I can’t help but partially blame my in-laws for feeding him and befriending him, but I know there is no point in blame at this point. It is what it is. And so it goes.

The approaching winter is having a profound affect on my energy level. I used my grow light this morning for 15 minutes at 70% intensity. Maybe it worked a little. I was feeling a little manic this morning and was a little ornery with a coworker. I was just giving him a hard time, but then I felt bad. Anyway, now I’m exhausted and ready for bed, which is about par for the course lately. Yesterday I went to the gym and did some jogging and felt way better. Exercise definitely helps. The problem is that I’m so damn tired and listless that it’s a miracle that I get to the gym at all. I guess I just have to remember the good feeling it gives me and let that motivate me.

Dietarily I’ve also noticed some changes. I’m mainly living on bread, cheese, and wine, which could explain my bathroom habits lately, or lack thereof. I suppose this is typical of the season though.What else could our ancestors do but eat things they stored…starchy things. fermented things.

Ok, so I’ve been a little infuriated lately with all this “spread the wealth” socialist crap. For one thing, I personally don’t think socialism is a 4 letter word. Second of all, when you make 45K a year, I’m all for spreading the wealth. Spread it my way, brother! I can’t help but lose all respect for my peers who are republicans. It’s just so infuriating. I’m paying nearly a third of my income on taxes under the bush adminsitration for wars and cronies and making sure the fat cats are taken care. If this damn idiots would realize that the republicans aren’t out to protect them…. ARGH. I got in a fight with my piano teacher tonight over this. And things are getting heated at work. I used to have good natured arguments with a young (cute) guy I work with and he stills sends me these inflammatory emails, but I can’t even be good natured about it anymore. I really hope to God that Obama wins. Now, I’m not like some people and I don’t think Obama is the savior. I don’t even know if so-called “socialist” ideas are the right answer. But I do know this… whoever we elect, the government is going to spend a shitload of money on something and taxes (for me anyway) are most likely going to stay the same. Do I want to potentially help people less fortunate than me, or do I want rich people to get richer and more poor orphans in Iraq to suffer? (sorry I just had to put a shamelss emotional plee in there.. it seemed like the politically correct thing to do.)

Rant over. I need to write my novel so I quit working. That’s my goal for this weekend. I have tomorrow off! Good move, me! 3 day weekends rock.