Thanks for the fish

Ok, so you know about Postsecret right? Of course I love that because you can see people’s dirty secrets. Usually it’s just pretty sad, but it makes you feel more human because you know that people aren’t nearly as perfect as they pretend to be. Here’s a fairly innocent secret of mine, though I certainly wouldnt’ tell my husband, friends, or anyone else for that matter. I secretly read the personal ads…compulsively. Especially the missed connections. And more than that, I really want to BE someone’s missed connection. Even some fat balding guy at the gas station. I just want someone to notice me and post it somewhere. Isn’t that sick and insecure and pathetic? Yes, I know it is. But hey, it is what it is. I also try to justify it by telling myself I’m just getting material for my writing. : ) Love that excuse. Works for sooooo many things.

Well, I’m home alone because J is at his Xmas party. I’m drinking his Riesling (not bad by the way) and of course doing absolutely nothing productive, because this is waht I do when I’m home  alone. I had bread, cheese, walnuts and malted milk balls for dinner. I hate work. How many years till retirement?

But… I went to my writing group for the first time in many many months last night and of course I loved it loved it loved it and wondered why the HELL I haven’t been in so long. I finished a short (very short) story posted at write365.blog.com and they, as always, were soooo nice and encouraging. It’s just phenomenal. I don’t know if it’s because I have such an ego crushing job, but when someone says something nice it’s just the best thing in the world. J says that this is proof that I have a big ego. I don’t think so. He’s in IT so he has no clue what it’s like for people to criticize his work all day. What I do is totally subjective so any old person could tell me that what I do is total crap. But I suppose I am too sensitive.

I’m reading Anderson Cooper’s autobiography. Reading has been so hard lately. I think it’s part of winter doldrums. I just don’t have the damn attention span. But I’m loving this book. I love him. Is he gay? Tell me the truth? Because if he is, I’ll stop lusting after him right now. He is just so adorable.

Anyway… this is a pointless post. I think I will make some brownies.