Thanks for the fish

Yesterday I had a wardrobe malfunction. I was wearing a dress I don’t wear very often and I thought it was all the way zipped up. All morning I felt my back and thought to myself “I don’t remember this being so low cut in the back.” Then I went for a walk outside to enjoy the very rare sunshine so I put on sneakers, making the outfit even more endearing. Then I walked by all the cute IT guys. Then I realized that my dress was only half way zipped up. Sigh.

Today, however was a total wardrobe function. I pulled 3 things I’d never worn before and they created the absolutely perfect professional, semi-sexy ensemble. Unfortunately, no cute IT guys today. Sigh.

Anyway, J is over here watching the Michael Jackson memorial service. I”m a little baffled as to why people are so enthralled. Nobody’s cared what he did for the last 20 years, why start now? He’s dead. My he rest in peace. Why do we say that? How else would we rest when we die? anyhoo…

Still no check from the bank, so still no mini. I couldn’t sleep all night last night because I was alternately trying to think of vanity plates and doing mock negotiations to get the price I want. MNIBAGS?

More rain. Stick a red hot poker in my eye.

because I was trying to think of clever vanity plates for my mini. That I haven’t actually bought yet (but soon!) Check ‘em out:

Litl car
Mniyac

Then various ones with red in them… Red Inc. Wel Red.. Rd Flag

Yeah, it was productive. Let me tell you, they’re called vanity plates for a reason. Because only people who have self esteems based on their cars have them. That will be ME soon! Yay. I’m already planning all my outfits and hairstyles around how cute they’ll look in a red mini.

I have to say, I’ve really made peace with my decision to spend $19,000 frivolously. First of all, everyone else is doing it. Second of all, fuck it. Third, don’t I deserve this after being semi-responsible for the first 35 years of my life? does this sound like rationalization to you? If it does, the devil is in your head and I’m not going to listen to you. lalalalalalallalalal I CAN’T HEAR YOU!

My mini dreams have also led to me be practically perfect today. I drank only 1 diet coke. Drank 4 glasses of water, which led to an extremely rare hydrated state that allowed me to do my run with no problem, mon. Now I’m having my ONE beer and then I’m off to do my ONE hour of writing. I had a mini-breakdown (ha ha… I said mini) at work freaking out over the fact that my short range life planning includes the number 40. Then I started making manic lists of things I’ll accomplish by the time I’m 40. Then I told myself to relax, to work on my book for one hour a day and eventually the damn book will just be done. Gotta focus on today. And the day later on this week when I’ll get my bright shiny mini.

Work sucks. Have I mentioned that? the people I work with are complete tools. But I’m getting a 6% raise and a bonus in August so I guess I’ll put my arms out and accept my golden handcuffs for what they are.

hmmm…strawberry shortcake on chocolate bread. Yum. Oh! I made strawberry jam last night. All the cans sealed correctly (yay!) and I’m apparently a genius pioneer woman. Nobody here should be shocked by that.

Saw 3 black angus cattle in my flower garden this morning. That was different. One started nibbling on my lettuce so I knocked on the window and that sent them barreling through my blueberry patch and through the woods heading to my in-laws house. Never a dull day around here.

miracles. It didn’t rain today! Yay! And we even snagged an invitation to a BBQ on a lake. Even J, who shuns any kind of personal relationship building, enjoyed it. So even though I accomplished absolutely nothing this weekend, I’ll call it a success.

We picked 16 more quarts of strawberries. And so for dinner I’m having left over kale mashed potatoes and strawberry shortcake. It’s ok…I went for a run this morning! And tomorrow is Monday. : (

I may have woken up grumpy and irritated but I still had good intentions for the day. Lots of stuff to do. We started out to the recycling barn, subaru filled with cardboard. Closed for the 4th. Doh! On to Freeport to look at Minis. Closed. Doh. But I did look and gosh darnit are they adorable. Even J started going gaga over the mini clubman, which I personally don’t like. Oh well.. on to LL Bean for our shotgun class. We made it through the safety talk before the torrential downpours started. Then there was the lightning and the thunder that literally shook my car.Oh yeah, and hail.

Sun comes out and we get to hold our guns. A few people actually get to shoot targets. oh, here comes under thunder cloud. Back in the flooded tent. Finally, we just bail. Home to pick strawberries… closed for thunderstorms. ARRGGHGHH! We were supposed to go running to but I finally convinced J that it’s just not our day so let’s go home and get drunk! You know it’s bad when he agrees with that logic. I’m so DONE wtih this fuckign rain. Sigh… going crazy here.

You thought I was all talk, but I’m not. I’m buying my Mini! Something snapped in me this week. Maybe it was the fact that my Subaru was feeling funny (fixed now, $500 later), or the fact that I’ve filled that gas guzzler up twice in one week (but it’s a great car..it really is). Or the fact that we dont’ have a backup or even any car that’s fuel efficient (thank you again honda civic), or the fact that my boss is constantly asking me when I’m going to buy my mini. Or the fact that I’m feeling lame and uncool. Or the fact that I save and save and then worry about becoming a miser like my sister or my Aunt O. Or the fact that I’m 35 and apparently going through a mid-life crisis.

Whatever the reason, I’ve made the mental decision that I’m gonna get one. Color undecided. I’m going to go and test drive sometime this week and then figure out my finances options. J is giving me a lecture about vices, telling me that for someone who is deathly afraid of death that I don’t take good health very seriously. Now he’s telling me that he won’t be my personal trainer if I keep smoking. Oy vey. Why did I marry this puritan?

Anyway, we got quite the loot from the CSA tonight. I made a veggie fried rice with swiss chard, garlic scapes, salad turnips, broccoli, and tofu. We also got kale, more radishes, lettuce, more lettuce, more salad turnips. Now I need to figure out what to do with it all. So far, we haven’t really wasted any. It’s all good stuff.

What else? Work is going better. I’m busy and my friend’s D’s brother is freelancing with us. He’s really nice (and cute). I miss D but I change is good. It’s giving me a chance to take more ownership and figure stuff out. I’m trying to make new friends too, but most people I just like very much.

Miracle of miracles it’s not raining this very second. It has rained today and it still looks like it will. No sun. No blue sky. But at least it’s dry for the moment. My garden is an absolute disaster…covered in weeds.

July is shaping up to be busy. I have a shotgun lesson on the 4th, latin dancing every Saturday, a Red Sox game, a play (dirty rotten scoundrels), a ladies night with girls at work. I hope the sun comes out soon. Then, as always, it will be a perfect Maine summer. And I can drive around looking hot in my cool new mini.