Thanks for the fish

relative, at least on the career front. My rather discouraging day started with normal work BS. Then escalated into rarer, but still not uncommon work BS. Yet another member of the senior leadership has “resigned.” This time a VP in my department. A very, very nice guy by the way. The company is officially now run by consultants in other states, who show in the office every other week or so and fire people by conference call. IT’s total BS.

Luckily, I thought, I have a job interview today. Eff this shit. I’m outta here! So I leave early, pissed off by more than one thing…the others perhaps slightly petty… go home and prepare at the last minute for said interview. Of course I’ve gotten zero sleep this week, partly because I think about work constantly, partly because J’s pager keeps going off in the middle of the night… and just because I always sleep crappily.

Anyway, so I get there and realize that well, I guess the company I work for isnt’ so bad. I so don’t want that job. I don’t care how much it pays, though frankly, I don’t think it pays much. I suppose I needed this to put it all in perspective.

Things I love about my crappy job/company:

-The people I work with…soo awesome

-My salary. It ain’t much, but it’s still more than I really need

-The little bennies that make the company special - free pies at Thanksgiving. Nerdy giving campaigns, chili cookoffs

-My boss. He can be a tool, but I like him

-A company with an ambitious mission, even if they’re going about it all the wrong way right now

-$500 spot bonus I just got since someone recognized that I’ve been working my ass off and am kind of miserable

-4 weeks of vaca once I”m there 4 years (a mere 1 year and 4 months away!)

-As much as I hate consultants, at least I might learn something from them.

-My title

So maybe I’ll stop complaining for a day or two. And now I’m going to drink my hot chockie and kahlua and crash probably before dinner time. Sooo tired!

I’m a youngest child so I always thought that I was much too selfish to be a martyr. I hate martyrs! Nobody cares that they work so hard. They just do it to make themselves feel superior and to make the rest of us feel like slacker. Not playing that game! Or am I?

I got to work before 8 am this morning. Then at 5:45 I cancelled my piano lesson, even though I COULD have shown someone how to do what I had to do…but no, I didn’t. I stayed until 6:30, until the job was done. And did I feel superior? Um, Hell Yeah! God I’m a hard worker.

Funny, huh? WEll, I have a job interview tomorrow. Not really prepared and secrely don’t really want the job already. I’m digging the fact that I’m needed and comfortable and the stress kind of gets me excited sometimes. I suppose this is all normal in some world, right? I’m a little disappointed in myself nonetheless though, since I always thought I was superior by being the anti-martyr. The person who had a life outside of work. Oh well.

I’m tired and need to get up extra early…why? BECAUSE I’M A MARTYR!  Duh.

Do you feel like a slacker yet?