Fall is so here…
It’s been cold, but today is sunny and warmish. But still, I’m feeling so into fall.
- All I want to eat is meat, cheese, and bread. Those little pizza/sub shops that I normally shun look and smell sooooo good. Pizza, meatball subs, steak and cheese… even a hot veggie sub. Yum! Heaven! Fuck high class, I want blue collar food.
- I want to play the piano, I want to write, I want to read and lay in bed! Yes! It was a beautiful sunny day and I have yard work to do, so I went out and raked and cut back some perennials, but the garden’s a disaster…the whole year was a disaster… and I can’t fix it now. I just want the frost to come and kill it all, then next spring I’ll start all over. Whatever. Each year is different. But I’m sort of done with the garden for now.
- wine, hot chocolate, kahlua, no more cocktails for me. Those are for the summer.
- soup, root vegetables, rice, and pasta. warmth.
My whole life I never lived by the seasons. Please. I was raised on frozen food, supermarkets, intercontinentally delivered food. Most of my youth was spent on an Air Force Base in Japan, which means I ate food that was made in teh US, frozen, and shipped to Japan (on a ship). Since I moved to Maine, I live more and more by the seasons, but this fall in particular I feel a total change in my bodily wants and needs. I wouldn’t touch a blueberry with a ten foot pole. I feel like I would barf if I ate a piece of lettuce. I want carbs man! And so I’m gaining weight and frankly don’t really feel bad about it. I know I should, so it nags at me, but my body is telling me to beef up for lean times.
Anyway, I’m working on my book and loving it. Me and J both are going through this phase, which we probably do every fall, where we realize there is more to life than 9 to 5 and just wnat to say fuck it and quit and do the things we love. I can imagine being retired. Right now, I’m fantasizing about when we pay off the house (which hopefully will be 8 years from now) and taking a year off to write. Of course, I’d like to be a world-famous author well before then, but sigh…
We went to see “Capitalism: A Love Story” last night and I left livid and practically in tears. It’s just such bullshit. The richest 1 % own as much as the rest of us 99%. How much money do you need? Honestly. For these banks to make loans to people and then take their houses away, just so they can make an even bigger profit. It’s just disgusting. It’s disgusting. How much money do you need?
Sigh… I admit, I’m about to be over capitalism. I’m about to be over it.
My real dream is this, because I”m like that guy, Horatio Alger. I’m just a good hearted citizen. I want to open a successful company. And I want to pay workers good wages. I want them to get the profits. I want us all to succeed. I’m not the only one like this. C’mon people. CAnt’ we do better than this corporate bullshit? Do we all need to have 600 billion dollars?
Sorry… I get upset about these things. I feel completely blessed for what I have, but I’m just pissed off that some people horde sooooo much more than any human would ever need if they lived to be 600 million years old while other people have absolutely nothing. OK, done. J wants to look for flip flops. Should be super easy as we go into winter in Maine… ! : )
