Thanks for the fish

but my husband’s pissed off mood does not. Well back to the kitchen to play with my beets and escape the wrath of J, Angry White Man.

ebay.

So I’m on a frugal kick. I’ve been reselling stuff I buy at discount stores like TJ Maxx, etc. on ebay and seeing if I can make a profit. I’m not making too much but it has made me realize how hard it is to make a buck and also that once you buy something, it’s value goes down substantially. So now before I buy something I think “what will that be worth in 6 months?” Hint: Not a whole helluva lot.

However, that did not stop me from going to Target yesterday. Ihad the day off for Veterans’ Day and I have actually had some successful auctions on Ebay. I bought these little robotic hamsters on ebay for twice their retail price hoping they would become “the hot toy” of Xmas 2009. Well, it looks like I am quite the genius actually. I’ve sold half of what I bought and have already recouped my cost. So I shoudl double my money…which would amount to about a $120 profit. Which is exactly what I spent at Target.

Now I make a point of NOT going into Target because I can’t seem to get out of there for less than $75. Now, you know me… it’s not like I have a burning desire to buy cheap crap from China to clutter up my cottage with (did you love the alliteration? I did!). But for some reason, yesterday everything just looked so goddamn CUTE. Maybe I haven’t been shopping for awhile. Maybe I’ve been too tight and so just needed to spend money. But I got in there and even though I knew I was out of control, I couldn’t help it. I bought:

2 pairs of yoga/running pants, which even though they didn’t TOTALLY hide my ginormous ass, definitely helped. (on sale btw)

2 pairs of brown pantyhose (because even though I wear them all the time, I keep hearing about how it’s the greatest fashion sin ON EARTH to wear nude pantyhose. Ok fine I’ll get brown)

A flannel night shirt in a size too small, which I blame on J because he says he hates my beloved gray sweatpants that I lounge around hte house in. Yeah, that was a total impulse buy.

Some Curl Life hair cream because the b&b stuff I bought in Florida is just not working for me. I wanted to use it up but I’m tired of my hair looking like crap. And I’m in a phase where I really want to “work the curl” instead of drying it straight because it’s getting way too long for that. Besides I bought this Ouidad shampoo and conditioner that’s supposed to be great for curly hair and my hair cream seems to be nulling out the effects. Case in point, my hair looked nice (and curly) today.

A jog bra. In a medium. No bouncing noticeable at all. Love it!

Oh…shipping boxes in various sizes and shipping brown paper.

What else?…..oh a hair brush because the one I had had all the little balls missing so the pointy things were stabbing me in the scalp. Not very comfortable.

I also looked for some stuff to make homemade cookbooks with for Xmas presents. Like a little notebook or something, but couldn’t find anything. Goddamn it in today’s world you should be able to find anything your mind thinks up. Right?? So now I have to be all creative and shit and that just gets my goat. Oh well!

Time for apple/cranberry bread.

puffy. When I look in the mirror lately, I see this puffy, cartoon-like me staring back. I’ve reached the 160 mark (ok, I’ve gone over the 160 mark, but only at night!) and all of a sudden I’m like some characiture-like fat me. I’m just bouncy and puffy all over. Even my boobs are like these giant puffy appendages. It’s very odd. Even odder is the fact that i’m not freaking out about it. i do intend to do something about it, but no point getting all upset.

The funny thing is that I must be in better shape (by some measure anyway) then ever because I just ran 3.5 miles and feel a-ok. In fact I feel pretty terrific. I’m going for 4 miles next. I’ve also been going to a weight training class (don’t tell me that my weight gain must be muscle…see note about puffiness above). So it’s clear that the problem area is what is going into my mouth. Mostly pie. But I do so love the fall because of the food.. the soups and stews and crockpot meals. the pie, the pie, the pie and the pie. and the hot chocolate and the red wine. My goal is to be in the low 150s (read: 154) soon. very soon. How’s that for a measurable goal?

So on Friday night I got shitfaced with coworkers. And then my husband came. THen…this the good part… we went DANCING. This is pretty big, folks, you know why? because I have never NEVER never “gone out dancing” in my life. Well, ok, that’s not true. I just thought of one time, ok 2 times, in my early 20s but that mostly involved hanging out by the bar and basically refusing to dance, and then finally, awkwardly sort of dancing. But this time I was so far gone that I was dancing. Like hoochie mama dancing. It was awesome. And it was such a dive. I loved it. I can’t remember most of the night, though I do remember giving pubic hair trimming advice to one of my coworkers. Nice! Can’t wait to see her on Monday.

So yeah, I never learn, but what the hell. It was fun. And I refuse to feel guilty about it. : ) (I mean that. really).

We’ve already had our first snow here, which was a little awkward because my all wheel drive subaru is on the fritz. I need to take it in and get it looked at, also get my snow tires put on and an oil change. So I took the mini out in the snow and she has shitty tires on her anyway. But it was fine. The best part? Heated seats baby. oohhhhh yeahhhh. So today was gorgeous and warm. J was out playing soccer in p-town so I had the place to myself. For some odd reason, that made me productive. I went outside and pulled all the random bags of soil and sand into the building. Dug my snow tires out of the building, dig some totally pointless raking and brought the pots full of dead and dying herbs and pansies into the screened in porch. And swept the stairs. We are such half-assed homeowners. we really don’t deserve anything better than a trailer, because we suck. But now it looks 20% presentable. I have been feeling a little bad about it lately. Also thinking about the value of hte house re: upkeep and landscaping, NOT that I plan on selling it anytime soon.

Speaking of mortgages, we are in our mid 30s, but unfortunatley we’re really ready for retirement. J is just sick of work, and frankly, so am I. We’ve been doing the math and we’re in a good place financially… we refinanced the house for 15 year,s but are paying extra so we’re on track for 10-11 years. If we sacrifice everything for the next 6 years, we could probably pay it off. But… well, I like my vacations, and I like hording a little money here and there. And just between you and me, I’m afraid that I’ll throw all of my extra money at the house and then we’ll pay it off and then he’ll leave me for a younger woman and I’ll be stuck with loads of furniture, a house I can’t unload, and a dark and bitter heart. But enough about my secret fears.

I have discovered the secret. Buy cheap red wine, then not only do I save money but MAYBE I’ll drink less of it since it tastes like ass. HA HA HA. Maybe not. Hell I ran 3 miles I can do what I want.

And now on to my novel. Which I am trying to be positive aobut. Watch this: “It’s going fine.” (that’s my attempt at positivity.) Ok, that’s all. I’m bouncing away now on my rolls of blubber. bounce! bounce! bounce! Quick, get out of the way.

P.S. My husband now weighs 5 pounds more than me. And he is 6′2. Grrr!

anything tonight but then I read a blog and realized that for some odd reason it just perked me up to read about someone else’s life who I don’t know at all… so what the hell! ha! Maybe this is why the internet is a good thing.

So I’ll start by patting myself on the back, because that is just oodles of fun (and hell nobody else does it and I’d hate to feel left out). I actually should pat J on the back because he is the one who gets my ass in gear. We got up at 5ish… didn’t shower, drove to P-town (where I work), ran around a 5K loop…it’s actually really pretty…it’s by a round body of water (don’t really know what it is, but it’s somehow linked to the ocean, eventually), and surrounded by a boulevard of nice homes, mostly, on the other side. So you run around and look at wildlife and then you get bored and look at cars cruising the strip (though not nearly as seedy as that sounds). Anyway, the POINT is that I ran 3.1 miles this morning BEFORE WORK. Then I went to work all sweaty, with a red (maybe purple) face (I get wicked funny colored when I exert myself…to the point of people staring), showered, then went off to a meeting. I felt pretty good about myself, but pretty tired phsyically.

Next random subject: Gay Marriage. Maine had a referendum vote to repeal the gay marriage law that was enacted (some time). New England is pretty liberal as I’m sure you know, and I always think of Maine as pretty liberal or at least independent or at least “do what you want to do, just don’t bother me” and I like that. I lived many years in Virginia where I was constantly frustrated by the fact that the majority of people in teh state didn’t agree with me. I didn’t expect that to happen once I moved to Maine. Now we DO have Republican Senators but they are also the only SANE Republican Sentaors and I love them both. Senators Collins and Snowe, you rock! The only republicans I will probably ever vote for…Anyway… I’m pretty socially liberal and certainly think that gay couples have the right to health insurance, property.. ..whatver basic human rights that married couples have. And well, long story short, the vote went toward repealing the law and I, along with most people I know, are rather disappointed and maybe a little embarassed about it.

What else? Work has turned into this ridiculous place that for some reason I continue to choose to go.. oh yeah, for that thing called a ‘paycheck’ and that other thing called ‘health insurance.’ But at least at this point I realize the ridiculousness of it and just laugh about it. And if they fire me, all the better. FU925. Wouldn’t that be a great licence plate?

So it’s 7 pm and feels like midnight cuz the sun goes down at 5 now. I’ve drunken all the wine I bought last night and a neat little wine shop I found and so now all that is left is to work on my novel and get excited about the possibilities of really, like for real, saying FU to 9 to 5. And G-Night!