Thanks for the fish

and I’ve finally gotten motivated enough to buy stamps. I planned my whole schedule around going to the post office since they are open a whole 2 hours on Saturday. Then, I braced myself for the long lines. Then I got there and realized I live in a one-horse town where I had to actually ring the bell for service. I was the only one in there. Another good reason I moved to the boondocks ( I do hate those xmas crowds).

Then I did something I haven’t done in many months. I went to Target and bought pretty much whatever my heart desired, though I did control myself and not buy a bunch of turtleneck sweaters that were super cute (and pretty cheap). But I bought a game called Partini. We’re going against both our personalities and our good sense and are having a New Years party with about 10 people. We’re not party people and we’re definitely not party throwing people, but I suppose you need to do these things sometimes just to remind yourself why you don’t. : ) So now we have a board game and our friend F is bringing over the video games. And no, you’re not mistaken, we’re all in our mid 30s. Isn’t life in America grand?

I bought the cats some toys, some boxes for these glittered pear ornaments I made (i know! I’m impressed too), these little ornaments that you can put photos in that I’m using as name tags on the pear gifts. I got more creative this year with the idea that I’d do more stuff home made and spend less, but I don’t really think I spent less. Oh well. Then I stocked up on cat food, cat litter,etc. to make sure the boys have enough for when we’re away next week.

Feeling a little ambivalent about Xmas. For some reason, it seems like it’s already past. Like I already did it. I keep seeing Xmas tree sellers out there and keep thinking to myself “why would anyone be buying a tree now that xmas is already past?). It’s been a long run-up, I guess. Maybe because we bought our tree early and frankly, I’m a little over it. I’m a scrooge and so is J. He said “I’m looking forward to those post xmas winter months where it’s cold and dreary and you have nothing to look forward to.” And I agreed with him. I’m grumpy too.

However… I have enjoyed doing some homemade gifts and I am looking forward to seeing my family. I guess I’m just tired and a little stressed out about the trip. We’re driving and my dad will be with us. He’s a little prone to depression and he’s also very tall, which means he’ll be uncomfortable. He can also get mean sometimes, so I try to keep him as happy as possible. I hope it goes ok.

Anyway… we got a big shed delivered yesterday and then it snowed several inches, so J is out there in the snow trying to get it situated. We have these 2 piles of lumber that we’ve been moving around for about 4 years. We somehow always move them to a spot that we soon realize is in the way. It’s getting old so I’ve decided to take charge of teh house instead and leave J on his own. The guilt is killing me but I’m working through it.

blah blah blobbedy blah. I need to fold laundry.

Well, Christmas is over. I thought it went absolutely perfectly. We drove down, which took about 10 hours and it was fine. We stayed at a hotel in Old Town Alexandria, which is a fun place. Had dinner with my family Saturday night. Spent all Sunday visiting my friends and eating and touring grocery stores (J works for a grocery store and likes to check out the competition – which oddly enough I find fun too. I always say I could live in either a Whole Foods store or a Borders and be perfectly happy… now if they could just combine the two). Monday we went to the zoo and I saw the black footed ferret. She was so cute. Then we went to lunch and then met my parents at the National Gallery of Art (we lost the rest of the family since they couldn’t find parking – which ended up probably for the best). Saw the JMW Turner exhibit, which was neat,, and the Edward Hopper exhibit, which was phenomenal. Loved it! Saw Nighthawks and Chop Suey and they were just so cool. Then we had dinner at my sister’s apartment. Then Christmas day and dinner and the ride home and no fights, no meltdowns, family dynamics totally under control! It was perfect.

 

And so it’s time to set some new goals for the year. My 2007 goals went pretty well.

 

1. I’m going to continue on my quest of conquering fears and not letting the fact that I’m intimidated stop me from doing anything. For example, at my hotel I was intimidated by the waffle maker and so just had stale pancakes. Regret! I will NOT do that anymore.
   
2. I want to continue being honest, kind, and sincere in my personal interactions. It’s hard (impossible?) to do all three at once, but it’s worth a shot!
   
3. I won’t let negativity affect me or people in general to affect my mood.
   
4. I will stop dwelling on the past, stopping dreaming about the future, and live in the present
   
5. I will catch up on my reading.  Think I can do one book every 2 weeks? I just bought 3 new ones last night and got several from xmas too.
   
6. I will work diligently on my book. Goal: 600 words per day.
   
7. I will have an awesome vacation in Maine , learning how to use the kayak I’m going to buy and exploring!
   
8. I will consume less plastic.
   
9. I will learn how to give awesome massages.
   
10. I will continue to be smoke-free, I will drink moderately, I will exercise regularly and I will eat oodles and oodles of fruits and veggies.
    
11. I will become a world-class pioneer woman and have stacks upon stacks of canned, dried,  and frozen food – just because I want to!
    
12. I will forward my career by joining a writing group, making important connections, and trying my hand at freelance magazine writing.
    
13. I will become great a long, hard piano piece. And I’ll also write songs and poems.
    
14. I might learn French!
    
15. I will build a patio in my back yard.
    
16. I will study the stars!
    
17. And I might even go to Ireland . Or maybe Prague . Perhaps Vienna .
    

 

Yowza! That sounds fun!

tomorrow can’t already be monday? Is time moving faster than usual? We went to Boston yesterday and spent almost the whole day at the science museum. It was fun. We just looked at and played with the exhibits, went to the planetarium and saw a little movie, and poof the day was gone and we were back in maine. I blew off the xmas party, and it doesn’t sound like  I missed too much. Had another party today, which was fine, though I probably won’t work with those people much longer. I feel like I’ve gained 20 pounds in the last week. yuk. I can feel more chins growing by the minute. And yet all I want to do is eat and drink (and be merry).

Watched a charlie brown xmas. There’s not really much of a plot. : ) But I got a great new saying out of. “Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you’re the Charlie Brownest.” I’ve used it on J at least once a day since. He’s a bit of a charlie brown.

Finished “Finding Flow.” It was a little fluffy. Now I’m reading “The power of now” which also seems a bit fluffy. Same basic concepts though.. .living in the moment, finding enjoyment in routine things, etc. which I think is a worthwhile concept.

I have verse 2 of my song written. It really is very therapeutic. I try to find rational explanations for what people do and what they’ve done, but it’s pointless. I can’t even find rational explanations for I myself do. Writing songs sort of makes you be more philosophical about it. And of course there’s always a resolution of some sort at the end. Like “there!” now THAT’S over with.

The only thing I bought yesterday (other than 2 bottles of grey goose at the NH liquor store) was a little dish that has a nautilus shape on it. I’ve decided that the nautilus is my symbol. So I had to buy it. It’s kind of cool. It says it is a “fossil ammonite”. Whatever that is.

Christmas shopping is almost done and 2/3 of my cards are going out tomorrow. Actually I think I’ll finish up my shopping online right now and then work on my book. I’ve been working on it about once a week, which is not as much as I would like, but that’s the way it is.

Working on “Oh Tannenbaum” from charlie brown and love it. Finally something I actually like working on.

More books in the mail! I got “the power of now: a guide to spiritual enlightment” which I bought in a random mood and then forgot I ordered. In the same package came “the path of the everyday hero: drawing on the power of myth to meet life’s most important challenges,” which I’m sure I didn’t order but most of been in my shopping cart from a previous random mood. Oh well…looks kind of interesting. Then I got “You suck: a love story” by Christopher Moore, which I’ve wanted for a while. I’m so far behind in my reading… but maybe soon I’ll have lots more time. : )

Going to Boston on our yearly bus shopping trip. It’s hokey but I love it! A bus full of Mainahs goin shoppin’ in the big city! I still need a dress for my party tomorrow night, but I’ve scrounged up a backup from previous new years parties. And hell, if we’re really tired, maybe we’ll just blow it off entirely. But I’d like to check it out, even just to see what the venue is like.

I left work at 4 and it was snowing and the roads were crappy and by 4:30 it was pitch dark. I’ll never get used to that. I’ve stopped the light therapy because it makes my eyes red. I dont’ need to go to work looking like I’m stoned off my ass. I already feel like a haggard, fat mess. It’s just not pretty lately. Not a pretty time of year.

At the music store last night, I bought the sheet music for “A charlie brown christmas.” I love it! : ) I’m working on “oh tannenbaum.” I keep feeling like xmas is right around the corner, but it’s still several weeks away. Well, now I’ve said it and now I need to watch it. Charlie Brown Christmas comign up!