Thanks for the fish

back! Peeping down at the pond… soon it will be deafening. Yes, another sign of spring. The crocuses are out and pretty in their purple and yellow in the front garden. Went out last night and raked the boulder bed of all the oak leaves that fell last fall. Weeds are coming up already! Luckily I have about 15 bags of mulch I never laid last fall so one of these nights I’ll go out and put that down. My plan this spring is to mulch, mulch, mulch before the weeds can catch up. Not much blooming… the forsythia isn’t even out yet. But the daffodils have poked up and hopefully soon they’ll be blooming. I still need to cut back my perennials from last fall… the snow fell so early and never melted so I never really had a chance.

Went to my primary care doctor today about my eye (finally). She said it might be allergies and prescribed some drops. i don’t think it’s allergies, so I’ll call my eye doctor tomorrow. I guess I should’ve just done that originally but I never know which doctor to call. I think it’s probably just dry eyes or something but it’s gettting very painful and has been like this for 2 months.

What else? 5 ciggies, 2 diet cokes, 1 cocktail today… could be worse…? Also went for 2 walks and ate ok. We got this ready to cook meal from hannaford. Italian chicken with green beans, gnocchi and pesto. Everything’s already cut and packaged up and then you just follow the directions. $20 for 4 servings, but super easy and really tasty. Compared to a restaurant meal that’s cheap. I begged him to pick one up because I was craving home cooked food and didn’t feeel like cooking.

Picked up my music last night and have been practicing. I have Only Time by Enya. It’s not super easy, but not too hard either. The other one, Jessica’s theme from the man from snowy river, I’m not sure I like it. It sounds like that theme from that tv show “the greatest american hero” which just brings back awkward memories for me. I have Ashokan Farewell as my backup… I can play that one already but it’s hard enough that it would be challening to memorize… Oh, I don’t know!

Work sucks.

already? : ( Didn’t get much done on my ambitious list of gardening tasks. We did just get done moving the giant pile of oak lumber covered with a blue tarp that has been in my driveway for a year. Boy, oak is heavy. Look what was living in there…

I hated to move him, and he didn’t want to leave… but alas… lumber piles must be moved. It’s only around the corner, so hopefully he’ll find it again. It’ll probably sit there for another year at least. 

Not much going on… reading harry potter most of the day, between naps and daydreams. Tough life. : )

today. I get the feeling that when I’m old and decrepit I’ll look back at this time in my life as the happiest. I’ve never been happier. What did I do today? I cleaned up, did some swiffer meditation, weeded the weed garden. Then we went to brunswick and found the eagle’s nest. I saw the eagle fly to the nest. : ) Then I saw it up in the tree, and found the nest, collected some feathers, saw it fly away, and then saw a juvenile in the nest. Here’s a picture.

  It’s hard to see. I had the wrong lens on the camera. But if you look at the pine tree and where it meets the blue sky and the other tree, you can see the head. It’s not white yet. : ) It was pretty sweet. Then I went to borders to get harry potter. They didn’t give me my free poster adn I forgot, so I had to go back and ask for it. I’m on page 130 already. It’s good! I’ll refrain from waxing eloquent about HP, as much as I’d like to. well, ok, just a little. J asked why it’s so popular, and I think it’s not so much the plot (as good as it is…with the whole good vs. evil thing), but mostly the characters and the setting. I could live in that world with those people and be happy. I know… loser! 

I can hear fireworks going off at Richmond days. Gerry is disturbed. Then… I laid on the couch and had my bogle chardonnay (very nice for a white wine…oaky… I’ve given up red because it hurts my sinuses… as much as I love it) and read HP. Couldn’t be a happier girl. Then looked at the window and thought I saw Eddie, my long lost grouse..but it was a turkey - along with about 20 (literally!) baby turkeys!

They ran off into the woods. Then later I went for a quick jog and a doe and fawn were crossing (in the same place! It’s a wildlife highway.) I don’t think they mind us too much. Here’s a hollyhock. 

Sideways…a little disappointed they are white. But pretty anyway.

Willie Nelson is coming to Augusta! I talked J into giving his dad tickets for his birthday. Me and him both love Willie. So the 3 of us are going. I can’t wait!

J said to me today “when are you going to sign us up for another kayaking class?” Yay! We have some things in common, but usually he just likes to sit in front of his computer (which is ok). But I’m glad I found something we can do together. So.. .guess I”ll get us started on the whole ll bean program…guess I”ll have to pay, but whatever. Today would’ve been a great day for kayaking. I love gardening, but it can be overwhelming sometimes. Sometimes it’s nice to get out and just explore.

Wow, we’re missing a lot of fun out there.. sounds like the grand finale! Judi brought me down some fig jelly since i’m always looking for it. We got a few sugar snap peas from the garden but apparently something ate all the plants. I haven’t gone to look at the garden at all. I’ve been neglecting the flowers too. Lost my pruners so can’t even deadhead my roses. My lavender is blooming. It smells so good! And my liatris. Do I have picture? Let’s see….

There we go. Aren’t they cool? : ) Well, happy Maine summer to you… It’s been awhile… 

let’s see…let’s pick a positive attribute for once. I’ll be.. sweet. No, I’ll be idealistic. Nah… funny? Oh screw it, I’ll just ramble. Too much effort.

Narcissistic? Ooh, I can do that one. Today, 3 people said I looked pretty. One person even said that people should bow before me because I looked so damn good. ha! Ok, yeah, so that was the high point of my day. What else happened?  Got a free drink at the W family compound. Had my lesson. Still have the hots for old short scrawny guitar teacher. He had a new shirt on today. Black button down.

Um… hmm… my hair has reverted back to red. Oh well. It was fun being a frumpy brunette for a few days. Ugh..J’s trying to tell me depressing things… where’s the sand? Where’s my head? Now let’s put the 2 together. Ta da! Bliss. I don’t want to hear about polar bears. Or honeybees, or songbirds. It makes me too sad.

Was busy at work. Working on web copy, which I always like. It satisfies that latent obsessive compulsive gene. Plus it has a bit of a radiant quality about it. Covering all the bases… many ways in, many ways out. Know what I mean?

Oh! See good news. You can help birds by planting native plants…hello? Weed garden. I’m so good.

What? What was I talking about? Oh… I’m going to cry… Ruffed grouses are becoming extinct. Poor Eddie!!!! I feel so bad… getting emotional…<sob!> I have to go make peace with my bird. Goodbye.  

a beautiful day! A perfect day.. Got sunburnt and got lots done in the garden. But first, some photos:

An ox-eye daisy.. why do daisies always look so happy? “Hi, I’m a daisy! I’m happy!” 

wandered down to the pond…

Pretty iris

Today’s project.. hoed this whole area, relaid the stepping stones and planted more periwinkle. Turn your head sideways.

I’m pooped, but in a good way. Worked outside all morning till exhaustion, had a shower, had a beer, fell asleep. I’ve determined this much about alcohol… wine makes me mean (but I love it), beer makes me tired (but I love it), jack daniels hard lemonade give me a crappy buzz and then zonks me out. Vodka just makes me drunk… perfect. The lack of food has made me very susceptible though. One drink pretty much knocks me out.

One more photo… little frog was looking in my window. Pretty loud for such a lil’ feller.

Not sure why he’s hanging up here when all his buddies are down at the pond. Must be the black sheep of the family. 

Not much else going on. Reading the mind map book, which is dumb. People can even irritate me in writing. The book could be a 2 page pamphlet.. I’m on page 56 and they still havent’ told me what a damn mind map is. Annoying. Also reading Veronica, which is also not doing much for me right now. Maybe I’m just not in a reading mood.

Ha ha.. the frog is back.. peaking over teh window. I”m easily entertained. Now I closed the window most of hte way and Gerry is trying to figure out how to get to him. hee hee. Oh well… another weekend in the bag.  

the freedom that you’re fighting

I am the sweetness that you’re hiding

I am heaven at your door and I am waiting….

: ) Having a lovely class of Barossa Vineyards Shiraz….yum. Super rich.

Behind schedule already… I guess I just wasn’t meant for routines, as it only lasted a day. It was kind of nice while it lasted though… calm, peaceful, organized. Now back to reality. Oh! I was driving to work this morning on the highway and this gorgeous bald eagle flew right in front of my car…literally yards away from me. It was so cool!!!!! I’ve never seen one so close and it was really impressive.

Had dreams but don’t remember them. Though one of them had my dental hygenist, Sonja, but she was a house cleaner who worked for a service I had hired.

Got my electric bill today…check this out. $32!!! Damn, man. See those CFLs really do work! A few loads of laundry hung outside, tv unplugged when not in us, computers asleep when not in use. Not that hard folks! Next month the clean power should kick in, which will raise it a bit, but probably still under $40.

Vat else? Lupines are pretty on the highway. What are those pink flowers along the highway? penstamons?? Windy… Going through an anti-social spell. I can’t stand people. I don’t even like passing them in the hallway. I have nothing against them personally, I just don’t want to deal with any of them. Well, time for piano, writing, weights, yoga, meditation, bed. The funny thing is that I’ve been meditating before bed but it seems to wake me up and then I lay awake for hours…thinking thinking… Was reading The Mind Map book last night and it talks about the brain and stuff and how when you think about something over and over it sort of hacks out a path that makes it easier to go down again. Not good… as that means certain recurring thoughts I have are going to be harder and harder to give up each time I think them! It’s fascinating though… the potential for your brain is limitless. Must stop daydreaming and use my brain for good instead of evil!! 

 

too tired to blog. I just can’t survive without my 8 hours of sleep anymore. I feel ill I’m so tired. So, a quick post and off to beddie bye I go. A & J stopped by with a birthday present. Another journal : ), some candles, and a bell. That was sweet. They’re coming to my recital, which at this point I’m ambivalent about. I feel like I’ve already peaked and I’m just dead sick of those songs. I did buy a new book tonight…goodie goodie. From Back to someone else… Found a song I love love love called The Wild Horseman by Schumann. What is that from? Anyone know? Also working on Dallas Blues.

Work uneventful. I have my evaluation coming up in a month.

Saw a deer this morning on 24. It looked like it was going to jump out in front of me, which would’ve been bad considering I was in the matchbox civic. But it turned around. Oh, the Ohio Buckeyes are blooming. They’re gorgeous!! I want one! Gimme! Ok, I’m pooped. I’m hittin the hay.  

here in the woods. First, an aggressive bird. Then a wandering raccoon. Yesterday a turtle on a mission and a lost porcupine. Today, a sinkhole appeared in our driveway. We had borrowed J’s dad’s truck to go shopping, pulled back in and he couldn’t back the truck out. Finally got it out and looked and the front tire had sunk into a sinkhole that we didn’t even know was there. Here’s some pictuers.

Fun in the country! Mike’s hard cranberry and a sinkhole! 

Also got the vegetables in… Is that a damn attractive vegetable garden or what?

We put in 3 kinds of lettuce (red sails, buttercrunch and some other green leafy one), 6 eggplants, 6 green peppers, 3 types of tomatoes (early girls, supersteak, and cherry), 2 mounds of butternut squash, 1 of buttercup squash, 2 cucumbers, and some sugar snap pea seeds. Have some bean seeds to plant when it gets a bit warmer. 

I’m getting burnt out on gardening already! 7658 steps on the pedometer so far and its’ only 3 pm. Looks like rain, thank god, so hopefully I won’t be obliged to lay the 10 bags of mulch I just bought. Also got some more periwinkle. Looked for a crabapple to put in the barren wasteland, but couldn’t find what I wanted.

Tomorrow is going to be a relaxing indoor day I think… reading, piano. Bought some beer for the slugs. Almost bought the amstel light (my personal favorite), but I thought they’d rather die in a nice maine made beer such as shipyard summer ale. Tourists out in full force today.  

How did I ever survive in Virginia? blech.. it was about 80 something today and I was outside most of the day. Did some weeding, laid some landscape fabric, mulched, bought our vegetable plants, planted some leftover plants from last week. Weeds are taking over, now I’m tired and starting to doubt my grand plan. : ( I think the wine is bringing me down. I don’t know why I started drinking when I felt good when I started. Oh well.. bought some deer repellant and sprayed it liberally on all the attacked shrubs. J says it smells like ass. I think it smells more like an infected wound that’s not healing. I can’t get the smell out of my hands now. Hopefully it will work. Here are some pictures.

Phlox

Turtle…strike a pose! 

Barren wasteland of my own creation. 

 

J & J stopped by and took us out for an ice cream. Reading my weight lifting book. Starting Generation Loss… I like it. It’s a lot like the other book I started and didn’t finish (veronica).. .tough women living rough lives… drugs, sex, etc. etc. Good stuff.

Tomorrow I need to get more mulch, clean up the weed garden, mulch the other beds, do laundry, work on practica musica, read, exercise… at some point need to write.

Some tension between me and J today. I think he thinks I’m bossy and rude. Which I think might be true. : ( He’s been working hard all day. But he whines a lot. He’s a good man.

Piano - recital songs finally going well. Also working on ashokan farewell (in preparation for next year’s recital!) and big rock candy mountain (just because I like it). I hope it’s not so hot tomorrow. I’m wearing my new yellow cable knit sweater. I’m trying to think of one more random thought to round things out… nope. oh, eddie’s hanging out up the driveway..still keeping his distance. My god.. it’s like a freaking nature preserve down here (not that I’m complaining).

Oh, I keep meaning to mention…lilacs are blooming (not that I have any..boo hoo), dogwood finally leafed out. Oh, cranesbill started blooming as did my lipstick pink strawberry. We planted a sugar maple in the back where I wanted my labyrinth to be. Maybe it will die. I also had an idea for a Venus garden. You know how they have Mary gardens where they put stuff that symbolizes the virgin mary? I want to do one to Venus. J says it won’t fit in with our rustic charm… I don’t care. I worship the goddess of love. yeah, I’m drunk. zzzz….sleepy. 

 

got home from piano (was a disaster), put on my pajama pants, poured a glass of wine, went out to check on the garden (nobody can see me, whoo hoo!) and the f-ing deer are destroying my shrubs. My favorite little poof ball chamaecyparis is being destroyed! Plus my arborvitae and my junipers…basically anything that’s rough and pokey. Very upset. The poof ball was the centerpiece of the whole damn thing. Next it will eat my favorite little tree. Buying deer repellant tomorrow and I’m going to put eddie’s cage around teh poof ball tonight.  I hate nature!! 

Oh well… as I alluded to, piano was disastrous. Forgot how to play tuxedo junction, freaked out, then she got my all upset about my timing on the other piece. Now half the f-ing world is coming to the recital and I’m totally unprepared. ack! I’m stressed. J’s on my case again about drinking. He had been doing so good about nagging. NOw I’m “one glass a wine” watch tonight. Enjoying my bogle petite sirah. Guitar teacher is giving me the cold shoulder. He wants me. He just doesn’t know it yet.

Got another (last) present today from U. A beautiful afghan that she made. It’s really nice. I’ll take a picture in a minute. And a framed picture of me and my nephew. aww.. she’s smart enough to know that a narcissist like me will only put up a picture that I’m in. ha ha… just kidding. 

Got to practice. I suck. I suck. I suck!