Thanks for the fish

Another snow storm, and I can’t say this one bothered me too much. Why should it? I worked from home, J shoveled the driveway, I got to sit here all day, do a minimal amount of work, snuggle with cats, and watch the birds eat from the birdfeeder outside my window.

I really couldn’t do much work because I hadn’t prepared to work from home, so I basically just monitored my email and wrote a paragraph or two here and there. Then I quit early and did my hour of writing on my book early. I have to say, I’m really enjoying the process this time. I don’t know if it’s just my state of mind, or my expectations or what. I really feel like by writing just one hour each day, I can get a decent first draft done in the month of March. I have realistic expectations, but expectations nonetheless. I feel wholly confident that I can do it. I have the skills, I have the basic plot, I have the time. If I get it out on paper, then after that I can rework it however. But the key is really getting a first draft down, and that’s what I haven’t been able to accomplish before. I honestly don’t know where my plot came from, but I’m having fun with it. I think about it when I lay down for a nap, and lay down at night. I think about it on the drive to work and even when I’m at work. I giggle at certain parts that I know will work out perfectly. : ) I really feel like I can do it.

What else? Well, exciting news. My freezer is getting empty! If there’s one thing I love more than preserving food, it’s using it all up! There’s just this sense of accomplishment from going through your winter stores. Weight watchers has not gone well. I need to go to my meeting on Wednesday and get remotivated. I haven’t done awful, but I’m not on track. And I”m using my new writing life as an excuse to drink excessively. But I don’t feel too overly bad about that.

I thought there was one more thing to write about… oh yes. Whiplash. I really have it. I’m pretty banged up from my fall on the ice yesterday and i’ve been whining all day. It hurts more when I lay down, but if I can stay in one position indefinitely (which is absolutely impossible for me) it’s ok.I move around a lot when I sleep and every time I lift my head up to turn over or rearrange myself, it hurts. Whaa.

Well, I’ve already gotten my writing done and at least half my piano practice in, so I’m not sure what I’ll dof or the rest of the night. I may try to read some more Dalai Lama I really am trying to be more compassionate as I think that’s a good thing. And maybe read some writing books. I have my writing group tonight and I know I should go, but well, now it’s too late. Between the whiplash and the snow, I really just don’t want to leave the house.

today. How lovely. Now it’s snowing and I’m sitting in the dark watching it come down. It’s rather peaceful. The cool thing about snow is that it’s silent. Rain is nice and something the sound of it is soothing, but there’s something about watching snow fluttering down with no sound at all. There’s a red squirrel out there, he’s been there all day. He must have broken into the birdfeeder again. I should go fill that up but it’s sooooo cold out there.

I’ve been working on my song - shooting stars in a dark field - it’s so neat! I’ve learned so much since taking piano lesson. I wrote the song in the key of F and just by pure intuition I put all the right chords in, inluding a b flat chord… i know! Fancy schmancy! I’m going to play it for my teacher tonight and see what she thinks. What else? I did part of the New York City Ballet workout today. It’s kind of cool… nothing too bouncy, which is good. Good ab workout and good stretches, plus nice classical music. The problem is that my ass is so big at this juncture that no matter how toned it was, it wouldn’t really matter. I should really do something about that (other than freak out and feel bad about myself, which I refuse to do).

I rearranged my guest bedroom today to make room for my work-from-home office. It’s just so nice and sunny up there and there’s a good view of the pond. It’s very peaceful. So I moved the bed over and put the desk so it faces the pond. Yeah, I can deal with an office like that. I even have a zen waterfountain. : ) Now I just need to buy a laptop and have J hook me up with wireless internet. And get a new phone and some filing cabinets. Then I’ll be all set.

Making progress in the Power of Now. It’s interseting. I see what he’s getting at. We spend so much time thinking about the past and future that we’re never really paying much attention to the present. So I’ve tried to do that more today. I do think excessively about everything except what is happening right now.

Well, I guess I’ll get all bundled up and go out and get groceries and on to my lesson. Oh! I saw a fox this morning. Big sucker! snooping around the house. I love foxes. What does my book say? (love this book)

“Every day holds within its core infinite potential for change. Every day brings new opportunities, if only we are aware enough to see them and brave enough to take them. Fox’s wisdom is that luck is simply the ability to see a break and take it. Once you start being purposefully conscious and alert to what is happening in the world around you and feel the interconnectedness of life, not only will you begin to see the inevitable outcomes to certain situations, but you will begin to instinctively know when an invitation is an opportunity. Fox counsels that you take it.” hmm… intriguing. that fits.

“Worked from home” today because of the snow. The roads did look shitty, but I’m sure my subaru could’ve made it. oh well… my boss “worked from home” and I never heard from him and he doesn’t even live very far from work. Here’s the sicheeation:

Not too major..in fact, kind of fun! The day was doggone boring though. I spent most of the day pimping out my myspace profile, because I’m twelve. I waited all day for cocktail hour and then it came. Yay! Something about the winter makes me want to drink heavily. I think it’s called boredom. I worked on the song I’m writing and I really like it. I’ve been eating all day. I think I’ll have more strawberry shortcake.

for the big snow storm! Exciting! Went to the grocery store and everyone was all out and about, buying their goodies. The wine aisle and cracker aisles were especially bare! So I got into the spirit too and got a bottle of my favorite Ravenswood Shiraz, which even J has taken a liking too. He’s not much of a red wine man, but he does like his port and he claims the shiraz is simliar. Which I dont’ buy because I hate port. But anyway… I told my mom about the cracker and wine aisles being picked over and she said “wow, people in maine really have their priorities right!” ha! yeah… : ) Don’t bother about the TP and the milk… but get your carbs and booze!

We also got our tree today. I guess it’s wicked early now that I think about it, but for some reason I think I’m all behind on my xmas stuff. WE just stopped at a nursery up the road and got some type of fir (i think? spruce? i dunno but it’s not a pine and it’s not a balsam - who would’ve thought I have a certificate in “woody landscape plants” hanging on my wall. Yeah, it’s a fir or a spruce).  It’s small and we crammed it in the back of my subaru. I wanted a tree, but I don’t like the whole ordeal, but I just couldn’t get myself to get a fake one. I just think of the tradition, and my german heritage and it just feels so good and pagan to get a real tree and bring it in the house! I can’t explain it. And it does smell good. And the cats love it. : ) I guess we’ll decorate it tomorrow as we pretend to “work from home” during the snowstorm.

I’ve been eating a ton of cheese lately. Very unhealthy I know. But at least it’s natural. I’ve just gone off all this “partially hydrogenated” “high fructose” made in china crap. I mean, for god’s sake, people lived off natural stuff for millenia and made it this far, saturated fat be damned! ooh! I was going to make strawberry shortcake tonight with some of my frozen berries. I should go do that but I’m stuffed. blehc. ummm… ok, focus: books I have laying around that I want to read:

Me talk pretty one day (my sister gave me this)
Kite runner & 1000 splendid suns (my whole family has gone gaga over this guy, which makes me not want to read it, but I know that’s just passive aggression talking).
Finding Flow - started this and looks good! I wanted to read today but never got around to it. J made me hold the stupid ladder in frigid temperatures as he cleaned the gutters. As retaliation I made him cube the cheddar cheese. He’s such a damn control freak though. I am going to train him to not be so controlling. WE drive to the grocery store (I drive to the grocery store) and he tries to tell me where to park. I’m like, dude - I can figure this one out for myself, ok? Sorry.. : ) uM, yeah. But we’ve had a good day.

I’m alternating regretting applying for a new job, and anticipating a change. I guess I just have to have faith in what I’ve decided. And if they don’t give me the salary I want, then f em. I’m hoping my nordstrom dresses come tomorrow! ok… strawberry shortcake time!